I forgot to say that I will probably be posting up my essay I wrote for a class about my life and living with my illnesses. stay tuned!!!!
Love,
Rebecca Chui
Monday, December 1, 2014
Mental Illness part 1
this blog is short, but I know that something was wrong with me. for years, I was living my life not knowing what was wrong with me. 9 years later, I got my answer. I was officially diagnosed with major depression, trichotillomania (ttm), ocd, ptsd, anxiety, and skin picking disorder (excoriation). I knew something was wrong with me. I needed help, but no one wanted to help me. no one listened to me and no one believed me.
I will explain in detail in another blog, but here is what I have been dealing with. its not fun living life like this, but it is something that I will have to live with and deal with for a long time.
I will explain in detail in another blog, but here is what I have been dealing with. its not fun living life like this, but it is something that I will have to live with and deal with for a long time.
Love,
Rebecca Chui
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Human
I can only take so much before I explode. The fact that I'm your daughter and you treat me like I'm garbage is unbelievable. Just because I'm not like your favorite daughter doesn't give you the right to treat me like I'm nothing and call me names like: fatass, dumbass, bitch, piece of shit, stupid, crazy, cutter, loser, useless, homeless, bum, etc. you constantly verbally abuse me. I make one mistake, you make my life a living hell. She makes thousands of mistakes, she doesn't get punished. Instead, I get punished for her behavior. Because of you I wanted to kill myself. Because of you I cut myself. Because of you I'm suffocating. You blame me for everything that's wrong. You are responsible for your own actions not me. I really can't take it anymore.
Monday, March 24, 2014
Sexual harrassment
its been almost a year now since it happened to me. just writing this is so hard. I was a senior in high school when this happened.
I usually come out of west gate after school to walk across the street where my parents usually pick me up from school. I was waiting for the light to turn so i can cross the street. I noticed that a male student stand really close to me. he got closer and closer and all of a sudden he walked behind me. I felt his hand hit my behind. I immediately looked back and saw him walking away. i had this nudge in my heart but i just brushed it off because it happens. it is possible that he accidentally hit me on my behind. It happens a lot.
the next day afterschool, it happened again. for two weeks this male student has been doing this to me. i was scared. i knew that this wasn't just an accident. he was purposely hitting my behind. I wrote a letter to one of the school's vp. He was very sympathetic towards me and seemed like he really wanted to help.
he then turned this case over to the higher ranking vp. I felt like he didn't believe me. it seemed like he wanted to ignore this situation. all he did was talk to the student and asked a police officer to come and talk to me.
The officer came to school to talk to me. i hated him. he obviously didn't believe me and he treated me like i was crazy. I wasn't crazy.
no one wanted to help me. I felt so alone and trapped. I shouldn't have to be going through this. I should enjoy my last year of high school, but instead i felt violated, stupid, helpless, depressed.
in the end, this male student (I will not mention his name in order to respect his privacy) was never punished for his actions. it was ridiculous. the fact that there was no punishment angered me because I felt like if he didn't have any form of punishment then he'll think he can get away with it in the future. He'll think that its okay to treat people that way. from then on I was extremely distant and my whole personality changed. I let this take over a huge part of my life.
my point is, yes these type of situations may take over your life for a very long time, but don't let it take over your life forever. if no one wants to help you, you have to help yourself. abuse is never okay. It doesn't matter what type of abuse it is, abuse is never okay.
I usually come out of west gate after school to walk across the street where my parents usually pick me up from school. I was waiting for the light to turn so i can cross the street. I noticed that a male student stand really close to me. he got closer and closer and all of a sudden he walked behind me. I felt his hand hit my behind. I immediately looked back and saw him walking away. i had this nudge in my heart but i just brushed it off because it happens. it is possible that he accidentally hit me on my behind. It happens a lot.
the next day afterschool, it happened again. for two weeks this male student has been doing this to me. i was scared. i knew that this wasn't just an accident. he was purposely hitting my behind. I wrote a letter to one of the school's vp. He was very sympathetic towards me and seemed like he really wanted to help.
he then turned this case over to the higher ranking vp. I felt like he didn't believe me. it seemed like he wanted to ignore this situation. all he did was talk to the student and asked a police officer to come and talk to me.
The officer came to school to talk to me. i hated him. he obviously didn't believe me and he treated me like i was crazy. I wasn't crazy.
no one wanted to help me. I felt so alone and trapped. I shouldn't have to be going through this. I should enjoy my last year of high school, but instead i felt violated, stupid, helpless, depressed.
in the end, this male student (I will not mention his name in order to respect his privacy) was never punished for his actions. it was ridiculous. the fact that there was no punishment angered me because I felt like if he didn't have any form of punishment then he'll think he can get away with it in the future. He'll think that its okay to treat people that way. from then on I was extremely distant and my whole personality changed. I let this take over a huge part of my life.
my point is, yes these type of situations may take over your life for a very long time, but don't let it take over your life forever. if no one wants to help you, you have to help yourself. abuse is never okay. It doesn't matter what type of abuse it is, abuse is never okay.
abuse
i have a friend who went through hell to stand up to her verbally abusive family only to have them verbally abuse her even more to the point she's thinking about committing suicide.
its fucked up enough that she has to go through this at school but the fact that her family is in on it too makes this situation even more fucked up. She is the same age as me. In her 19 years of life and counting, she has never once been happy. Why do people do this? verbally abusing someone is the same as physically abusing someone.
its fucked up enough that she has to go through this at school but the fact that her family is in on it too makes this situation even more fucked up. She is the same age as me. In her 19 years of life and counting, she has never once been happy. Why do people do this? verbally abusing someone is the same as physically abusing someone.
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